April 15, 2020

Standup Week Wednesday Morning (4-15-2020)

by Chompers

Background show artwork for Chompers

Today’s Chompers is going to be a roast of vegetables and fruits. By our comedian Jiji Lee!

Where to Listen

Transcript

Hey there, it's time for Chompers, your morning and night toothbrushing show!


Start brushing on the top of your mouth. Pick a side, and make sure to brush the inside, outside and chewing side of each tooth.


3, 2, 1 brush!


It’s Stand Up week! And today Chompion Zedia is opening the show with a joke! Zedia take it away!


>> Zedia: Is your fridge running?


>> Kids: Yes


>> Zedia: Well you’d better go catch it!


And today’s comedian is JIJI LEE! Let’s give her a warm welcome. I mean after switch your brushing to the other side of the top of your mouth, and brush your molars in the way back too. 


[Switch Bell]


Jiji take it away!


>> Jiji: I'm going to give you a list of vegetables and fruits and tell you what I think of them. So this is going to be a roast of vegetables and fruits. 


Haha. get it? A roast is when someone is making jokes about someone else. So Jiji is going to make fun of some fruits and vegetables. And don’t worry you’re not going to have to eat any roasted veggies and fruits. 


Switch your brushing to the bottom of your mouth, and don't forget those front teeth. 


[Switch Bell]


Ok let’s hear this roast!


>> JIJI: So carrots carrots. I think we can all agree they look like monster teeth right? Cucumbers cucumbers are just like pickles but boring. Lettuce lettuce is great. If you ever wanted to know what wet paper tasted like. And just to be clear you should never eat wet paper.


Switch to the other side of the bottom of your mouth, and give your tongue a brush too.


[Switch Bell]


>> JIJI: Does anyone like strawberries. 


>>KIDS: YES!


>>JIJI: They look like a grownups nose. This is true. Pears. Well Pears they look like apples but if someone sat on an apple. Beans. If you ever see a grown up eat beans just leave the room. Just trust me ok.


[SFX FART]


You’re all done brushing. Come back tonight for more Stand Up jokes. Until then... 3, 2, 1 spit!