April 15, 2020

Standup Week Wednesday Night (4-15-2020)

by Chompers

Background show artwork for Chompers

What do you call a dance for people with no teeth? Our comedian Josh Gondelman has the funny answer on Chompers!

Transcript

Welcome back, it's time for Chompers, your morning and night toothbrushing show. 


Start brushing on the top of your mouth on one side, and brush the inside, outside and chewing side of each tooth. 


3, 2, 1 brush!


It’s Stand Up week so get ready to giggle! You might remember Jiji Lee and her strong opinions about veggies and fruit. Well she’s back with one more joke. Give it to us Jiji!


>> JiJi: This is my impression of someone singing the alphabet and then they forget the letters a b c d e f g h i j h i j h i j. Poop.


(KIDS LAUGH)


Anyway switch to the other side of the top of your mouth, and but dont brush too hard. 


[Switch Bell]


Alright, let’s give a round of applause to our next favorite comedian (RIMSHOT) Josh Gondelman. Josh, take it away!


>> Josh: Hello. Do you guys like jokes?


>> KIDS: YESSS!


>> Josh: Where do you put a bunch of clean teeth that you find on the floor. Do you guys know?


>> TOOMIS: Garbage.


>> Josh: I love your answer. Do you want to hear mine?


>> TOOMIS: YES.


Josh:The flossed and found! 


(KIDS LAUGH)


Switch your brushing to the bottom of your mouth, and make little circles with your brush around each tooth.


[Switch Bell] 


>> Josh: Oh. What do you call a formal dance for people with no teeth.


>> KIDS: WHAT?


>> Josh: You call it a GUM - BALL.  


(RIMSHOT/LAUGH)


>> Josh: Knock Knock 


>> KIDS: WHo’s there?


>> Josh: Baby teeth.


>> Kids: Baby teeth who?


>> JOSH: baby teeth doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. 


(KIDS LAUGH)


Switch your brushing to the bottom of your mouth, and make sure you brush that tongue too


>> Josh: What do you call weather so cold that it makes your teeth chatter. 


(KIDS giggling)


>> JOSH: That's just the first part but I love that you guys are into it already. You call it a molar vortex.


(SFX RIMSHOT)


Now you guys laugh.


>> Josh Gondelman:Knock knock. 


>> KIDS: Who's there? 


>>JOSH: interrupting dentist. 


>>KIDS: Interrupting-


>>JOSH: Remember to brush and floss every day. 


(SFX RIMSHOT)


You did a great job brushing. Come back tomorrow and until then, rinse with water before you 3, 2, 1 spit.