May 30, 2020

Cooking Week Night Jokes (5-30-2020)

by Chompers

Background show artwork for Chompers

What did the knife say to the spoon? Brush with Chompers tonight to find out!

Where to Listen

Transcript

[THEME SONG BEGINS]


>> RACHEL: Welcome back, it’s time for Chompers your morning and night toothbrushing show 


Start brushing on the top of your mouth on one side, and brush all the way to the molars in the back.


>> KIDS: 3, 2, 1 brush!


[THEME SONG ENDS]


>> RACHEL: It’s Cooking Week and tonight we’ve got more hilarious cooking jokes.


[LAUGHTER] 


>> RACHEL: Here’s your first one: 


What’d the knife say to the spoon?


>> KID: What did they say?


>> RACHEL: I dunno, I fork-get!


[RIMSHOT]

[MUSIC BEGINS]


>> RACHEL: Knives, forks, and spoons are what we call cutlery or silverware…


[CUTLERY]


>> RACHEL: -things that help us get food from a dish into our mouths.


[GULP]


>> RACHEL: But those aren’t the only things people use to eat their food. A lot of people use chopsticks to pick up their food, and a lot just use their hands. However you eat, though, be sure to wash your hands before every meal.


[SWITCH BELL]


>> RACHEL: Switch your brushing to the other side of the top of your mouth, and brush the inside, outside and chewing side of each tooth.


[MUSIC ENDS]


>> RACHEL: Here's your next joke:


Knock knock 


>> KID:  Who’s there?


>> RACHEL: Lettuce


>> KID: Lettuce who?


>> RACHEL: Lettuce in, it’s salad time!


[LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC BEGINS]


>> RACHEL: Salad doesn’t just mean lettuce and kale. It’s any dish with a mix of small pieces. There are all kinds of salad. You can even make a dessert salad with fruit!


[MUSIC ENDS]


>> RACHEL: Switch your brushing to the bottom of your mouth…


[SWITCH BELL] 


>> RACHEL: -and brush your front teeth, too.


Here’s another joke: 

What did the cook say to the lying sandwich?


>> KID: What?


>> RACHEL: That’s a bunch of bologna!


A “bunch of bologna” is another way of saying “that’s not true”. So if I said that there are 400 elephants in the room with me right now! What do you think? Is that true, or is it a bunch of bologna. Who knows? I’m not telling. 


[ELEPHANT TRUMPET]


>> RACHEL: Switch your brushing to the other side of the bottom of your mouth…


[SWITCH BELL] 


>> RACHEL: -but don't brush too hard. 


Here’s one last joke before you go:


Knock knock!


>> KID: Whos there?


>> RACHEL: Ice cream.


>> KID: Ice cream who?


>> RACHEL: Ice cream and shout with joy every time I brush my teeth.


[RIMSHOT AND TOOTH BRUSHING]


>> RACHEL: Spoken like a true Chompion! 


[MUSIC BEGINS]


>> RACHEL: There are two things you have to do every time you cook. The first is cleaning up after yourself.


[SPARKLE]


>> RACHEL: And the second — after you eat, you need to brush the gunk off your teeth!


>> KID: EWWW.


[THEME SONG BEGINS]


>> RACHEL: That's it for Chompers today, we hope you’ve enjoyed our cool and kooky cooking jokes! Come back tomorrow for more cooking week, and until next time... 


>> KIDS: 3, 2, 1 spit!


[THEME SONG ENDS]


>> RACHEL: Chompers is a production of Gimlet Media.