June 15, 2019

Cooking Week Morning Jokes

by Chompers

Background show artwork for Chompers
Why aren't pizzas funny? Find out on today's Chompers!

Where to Listen

Transcript

[THEME SONG BEGINS]


>> RACHEL: Good morning, it’s time for Chompers, your twice daily toothbrushing show.


Start brushing on the top of your mouth. Pick a side, and brush in little circles all the way around each tooth


>> KIDS: 3, 2, 1 brush!


[THEME SONG ENDS]


>> RACHEL: It’s Cooking Week, and today we’re cooking up some laughter with JOKES!


[LAUGHTER]


>> RACHEL: Here’s your first one:


Why are geniuses so good at making spaghetti?


>> KIDS: Why?


>> RACHEL: They know how to use their noodle.


[RIMSHOT]


>> RACHEL: Noodle is another way to say brain. You know, that thing inside your head that you use to think!


[XYLOPHONE]


>> RACHEL: But there isn’t actually a noodle in your head.


Switch your brushing to the other side of the top of your mouth…


[SWITCH BELL]


>> RACHEL: -and brush the molars in the back too.


Here’s your next joke:


Why aren’t pizzas funny?


>> KIDS: Why?


>> RACHEL: They’re too cheesy!


Okay, maybe that joke was a little cheesy.


[SAD TROMBONE]

[MUSIC BEGINS]


>> RACHEL: Have you ever seen pizza chefs twirling wheels of dough in the air?


[SLIDE WHISTLE]


>> RACHEL: That’s the fancy way to turn a ball of dough into a flat pizza. But there’s an easier way -- you can roll it out with a rolling pin, or you can just mush it out with your hands!


[SPLAT]

[MUSIC ENDS]


>> RACHEL: Switch your brushing to the bottom of your mouth…


[SWITCH BELL]


>> RACHEL: and brush the inside, outside and chewing side of each tooth.


Here’s your next joke:


Why are cats great at baking?


>> KID: Why?


>> RACHEL: They’re good whiskers!


[RIMSHOT]

[MUSIC BEGINS]


>> RACHEL: Whiskers are those hairs that stick out the sides of the faces of animals like cats and dogs.


[STRETCHING SOUND]


>> RACHEL: But a whisk is a cooking tool you can use to mix things like whipped cream.


>> KIDS: YUM!


>> RACHEL: Switch to the other side of the bottom of your mouth…


[SWITCH BELL]


>> RACHEL: -but don’t brush too hard.


[MUSIC ENDS]


>> RACHEL: Here’s one last joke before you go:


How do you become a dessert chef?


>> KID: How?


>> RACHEL: Easy! It’s a piece of cake!


[RIMSHOT AND LAUGHTER]

[THEME SONG BEGINS]


>> RACHEL: That’s it for Chompers today, but if you’re hungry for more cooking jokes, come back tonight. Until then, rinse with water before you-


>> KIDS: 3, 2, 1 spit!


[THEME SONG ENDS]


>> RACHEL: Chompers is a production of Gimlet Media.