April 19, 2020

Standup Week Sunday Night (4-19-2020)

by Chompers

Background show artwork for Chompers

Tonight we've got more of the funny jokes that you Chompions sent us!

Where to Listen

Transcript

Welcome back! It's time for Chompers, your morning and night toothbrushing show. Start brushing on the top of your mouth on one side, and brush all the way to the molars in the back. 


3, 2, 1 brush!


It’s Stand Up week. And in today’s show our comedians are some of you Chompions!

Let’s start the show!


Alright, our first Chompion is 5 year old, he’s from.. 


>> Thaddeus:  Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.


And his name is.. 


>> Thaddeus:Thaddeus. 


And with no further ado, Thaddeus’ joke!


>> Thaddeus: Why isn’t my nose 12 inches long?


>> Kid: Why?


>> Thaddeus: Because then it’d be a foot!


Switch to the other side of the top of your mouth, and brush all the way to the molars in the back 


Our next jokes is from Luke! Let’s give him a warm welcome! What’s your joke Luke?


>> Luke: How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh?


I don’t know!


>> Luke: TENticules.


(RIMSHOT/LAUGH)


And our next jokes is from Alli! Alli Take it away!


>> Alli: Why was the teacher’s eyes crossed?


>> KID: WHY?


>> Alli: Because she couldn’t control her pupils.


(RIMSHOT/LAUGH)


Switch to the bottom of your mouth, and brush the inside, outside and chewing side of each tooth. 


Our next jokes are from Chompions Kate and Amy, from Dublin. Ireland! Kate, what’s your joke? 


>> Kate: My joke is Why did the turkey didn’t eat any Christmas dinner?


>> KIDS: Why?


>> Kate: Because it was stuffed. 


(RIMSHOT/TURKEY)


And now, Amy! Amy’s joke is about TOILET PAPER - which they call toilet rolls in Ireland.  


>> Amy: Why did the toilet roll go down the hill? 


>> Kids: WHY?


>> Amy:To get to the bottom.


(RIMSHOT/LAUGH)


Switch your brushing to the other side of bottom of your mouth, and give your tongue a brush too


Ok here’s another joke from Chompion Frankie!


>> Frankie: What would seagulls be if they flew over the bay?


>> Kids: What?


>> Frankie: They’d be bagels


(RIMSHOT/laugh)


And our last joke is from Alessandra.


>> Alessandra: Hi!


Alessandra take it away!


>> Alessandra: When it’s late at night. What does the peanut butter say to the jelly?


>> KIDS: I don’t know!


Alessandra: It’s time for bread!


Speaking of bread, I mean bed, (Yawn) all this laughter made me sleepy. That’s it for Chompers today, Special thanks to all the Chompions who sent us their jokes! We loved them all! Until next time, 3, 2, 1 spit.